I've wanted to do a particular comic strip for nearly ten years now.

As some of you may know, back in 2009/2010, I was doing a different webcomic called "Popcorn." It was "Penny Arcade," but for movies instead of video games.

Around that time, James Cameron just finished releasing "Avatar." I know lots of people liked it for some reason, but I found that movie to be very insulting. It was "Dances with Wolves," but with Smurfs.

Obviously, I made fun of that movie. Even when it became the highest grossing movie of all time, I still made fun of it. In my opinion, it would only be a matter of time before someone would make a movie that'll knock "Avatar" off of the top perch.

Ten years later...

Congrats to Marvel for making a movie that not only finally knocked off "Avatar" from the top spot, but was a good movie, too.

A tip of my hat to James Cameron, too. Not only did he make a couple of movies that were on top of the box office ("Titanic" was in the Number Two position for a long time), but he'll probably regain the number one spot with a re-release of Avatar anyways.

Oh, since Disney owns both franchises, it's all money to them.

Below is the comic I've wanted to tell for nearly ten years (it can also be found at the Popcorn website on Smackjeeves).



JR
(wants to be King of the World, but doesn't like seafood)

And we're back.

Helluva ride this year so far in regards to superhero films. Some surprises, some laughs, some tears. And then, there was Hellboy.

Honestly, I thought there were going to be more superhero movies coming out this year. I mean, yeah... there's a lot, but I thought there would be more in the second half of the year. Some things changed, and some never materialized.

New Mutants was scheduled to come out in August, but it got postponed... for like the third or fourth time. Supposedly, it's coming out next year. Who knows? Maybe it will.

For some reason, I thought Todd McFarlane's Spawn was going to be a surprise release in 2019. Instead, I read they're still trying to secure funding for the movie. I mean, it has Jaime Foxx and Jeremy Renner attached to it and now (because of the success of Venom last year) they can promote it as "From the Co-Creator of Venom," why can't they get money for it? Things that make you go "hmmm."

There were other movies that were superhero related (Brightburn and Men in Black: International), but I elected to pass over those.

Anyway, on with the rest of the show...

Dark Phoenix



Release Date: June 7
Director: Simon Kinberg
Stars: Sophie Turner, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence

After Disney purchased Fox, the future of the X-Men universe hasn't been looking very good. According to Kevin Feige over at Marvel, the next five years of Marvel movies are already planned out - and it doesn't involved the X-Men.

"It'll be a while," he said.

So it looks like this will be the last X-Men movie for the foreseeable future. As it is, it'll be the culmination of 20 years of X-Men movies...

And first one without Hugh Jackman as Wolverine.

Let's just get it over with.

Spider-Man: Far From Home



Release Date: July 2
Director: Jon Watts
Stars: Tom Holland, Samuel Jackson, Zendaya

Everybody is going to see this because everybody wants to know what's next in the MCU. What's Phase Four gonna be about? Will there be alternative universes involved? More time travel? Is Galactus the next major villain?

Oh, and there's also a Spider-Man movie, too. It'll be good. You'll like it.

As an aside, this film ends the Infinity Stone Saga, which started with the first Iron Man movie. Allegedly, if you add up the run time of all the movies, it adds up to 3,000 minutes. And, if you watched Avengers: Endgame (SPOILERS), "I love you, 3,000..." is a really special line.

Excuse me, while I cry some more.

Joker



Release Date: October 4
Director: Todd Phillips
Stars: Joaquin Phoenix, Robert De Niro, Zazie Beetz

Let's face it...

The DCEU has been a disappointment.

From the abyss that was Batman v Superman to the lame casting of that guy from Twilight as the next Batman, DC fans haven't had a lot of good reasons to go to the movies.

That might change in October.

Joker is looking like an homage to early Martin Scorsese pictures, and Joaquin Phoenix's take on the character looks reminiscent of Robert De Niro's Travis Bickle (Taxi Driver) and Rupert Pupkin (The King of Comedy).

And possibly the best part of this movie?

It's a standalone picture, delightfully free of the DC Extended Universe.

Excelsior, true believers!

JR
(really didn't like Hellboy)

In the immortal words of Stan Lee, "Face front, True Believers!" It's a new year, and we got a whole bunch of new super hero movies to look forward to.

Too many, in fact...

2019 has, at least, ten super hero or comic book related films coming out; maybe more that are still unannounced. I'm not tired of these movies. Far from it. There are just too many coming out this year that I feel comfortable putting in one blog.

Therefore, we're going to split it up and only talk about the first six movies in store. Later in the year (probably around June), we'll discuss whatever is coming next.

And so, on with the show...

Glass



Release Date: January 18
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Stars: Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, James McAvoy

This movie isn't so much based on comic books as it is a love letter to them. It was a real surprise in 2016 when the movie Split tied into Unbreakable from 2000, and now we have a mini-universe. Advanced reviews say the film is mostly a slow moving pychodrama, and the ending may be disappointing.

Still sounds better than Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Alita: Battle Angel



Release Date: February 14
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Stars: Rosa Salazar, Christoph Waltz, Jennifer Connelly

Back in the 1990s (remember, I'm older than dinosaur snot), Battle Angel Alita was my favorite comic book. The science fiction characters and scenarios, mixed with the amazing storytelling abilities of creator Yukito Kishiro, made this a compelling comic.

Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled with the first trailers. I thought the characters looked goofy. However, after awhile, the look of the movie has grown on me and I'm looking forward to seeing this on Valentine's Day...

In the dark... alone... as usual.

Captain Marvel



Release Date: March 8
Directors: Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck
Stars: Brie Larson, Jude Law, Samuel L. Jackson

Holy Hannah, this movie is going to be huge!

Side note... I always thought the phrase "holy hannah" originated in the pages of Captain Marvel. I thought Hannah was some sort of deity from the Kree home planet. Turns out, it's a common phrase used by individuals who don't swear or use curse words. Why in the world would I think a thing like that? Funny how the mind works, huh?

What were we talking about?

Shazam



Release Date: April 5
Director: David Sandberg
Stars: Zachary Levi, Mark Strong

Ahh, the other Captain Marvel.

One of the big criticisms of the DCEU has been the tone of the films; everything is dark and gritty; it's like Frank Miller's underwear. This movie definitely looks more happy and fun.

Yet it looks like it'll still tackle some important issues, like how do superheroes go to the bathroom in those costumes?

Hellboy



Release Date: April 12
Director: Neil Marshall
Stars: David Harbor, Milla Jovovich

I wasn't really happy when I heard this was being released. I enjoyed the original movies by Guillermo del Toro and with Ron Perlman as Hellboy. I thought it was a disservice to reboot the series when there wasn't anything wrong with the original.

If it weren't for the good performance by David Harbor on Stranger Things, I wouldn't even watch this thing. Maybe Netflix should ask for a percentage if the movie is successful.

Avengers: Endgame



Release Date: April 26
Directors: Anthony and Joe Russo
Stars: a whole bunch of people

There has been lots of speculation around this movie. There are all kinds of supposed plot leaks and surprises all over the internet. But, in the role of my day job as A/V technician, I saw a rough cut of the movie with the Russo Brothers.

Yes, everybody will be surprised when Thanos is finally brought down by the arrival of Squirrel Girl.

You heard it here first.

JR
(I didn't really see a rough of Avengers 4... or did I?)

Nothing says Thanksgiving like a giant kaiju eating people.

Welcome to another Tokusatsu Thanksgiving, where we celebrate Thanksgiving by watching a giant monster movie.

Tokusatsu, for the non-enthusiasts, is a Japanese live-action film or television show that uses considerable amounts of special effects, usually dealing with science fiction, fantasy or horror. Giant monsters in rubber suits and the Power Rangers are all Tokusatsu.

War of the Gargantuas is one of the best. It was originally meant to be a sequel to a movie made the previous year, Frankenstein Conquers the World. Discarded cells from the Frankenstein monster mutated and grew into two giant, hairy behemoths. If you watch either the subtitled or the International dubbed versions of this film, the name "Frankenstein" is used fairly freely. Apparently, the American producer of the film, Henry G. Saperstein, soft-pedaled the Frankenstein connection for the US distribution.

As I said before, two monsters grew up from these mutant cells. One of the monsters lives in the mountains like a giant sasquatch, and is called Sanda. The other one dwells in ocean, and is called Gaira... and he eats people.

Most giant monster movies aren't really scary. There's just a lot of rampant destruction for the most part. But this movie actually has a few scary moments with Gaira chasing after people, so he can eat them. Plus, he's butt-ugly.

As an interesting aside, Brad Pitt revealed at an Oscar's ceremony a few years back that he got into acting because of this movie.

Isn't that scary?

JR

Before Marvel Comics were Marvel, they were Atlas.

The late 1950s weren't a great time for comics, and Atlas Comics lost a bunch of their books because of a bad distribution deal. Atlas would get comics onto the newsstands through a company owned by DC Comics (their top competitor). They could only publish eight titles per month, and lots of people lost their jobs.

And then, came the monsters...

Atlas wasn't really known for its innovation. They were trend followers, and giant monsters were the craze at the time.

Before creating the Marvel Universe, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were producing tons of wacky and fun monster stories in books like Strange Tales and Journey Into Mystery.

Here's a few memorable ones...

"I Challenged... Groot, The Monster From Planet X"
Tales to Astonish #13



Yes, that's the first appearance of Groot from the movies. Not so adorable here, but he definitely had a larger vocabulary. And a bad case of termites.

"Goom, The Thing From Planet X"
Tales of Suspense #15



I guess Planet X was where all the cool monsters came from. I wonder if Goom was Groot's neighbor.

A couple issues later, Goomgam, Goom's son, came to Earth... probably looking for the parental guidance he had been missing.

"I Learned the Monstrous Secret of Bombu"
Journey Into Mystery #60



Seriously, I can imagine Stan and Jack, sitting around their office, smoking cigars and drinking bourbon, trying to come up with these crazy names.

"Goliath! The Monster That Walked Like A Man"
Journey Into Mystery #63



This monster was later renamed Gigantis because Marvel would end up using the "Goliath" name for a superhero. They did that a few times with monsters originally called "Hulk" and "Magneto." Whether he was Goliath or Gigantis, he still walked like a man... which I'm sure irks someone somewhere.

"Zzutak, The Thing That Shouldn't Exist"
Strange Tales #88



"The thing that shouldn't exist?" Sounds like Zzutak had a massive inferiority complex. Hope he sought counseling.

"Fin Fang Foom"
Strange Tales #89



If you look closely, you'll see that this monster is wearing shorts or underwear. Lots of the monsters wore underwear back then. Not sure why. Maybe it had something to do with the Comics Code of Authority. If a monster "walked like a man," then I guess he had to dress like one, too.

JR
(likes to wear his underwear outside his pants, so he can pretend he's a monster)

So the Venom movie opened up, and what a magnificent steaming pile of crud it was.

It's a shame, too. Venom is one of the cooler characters at Marvel Comics, and definitely one of Spider-Man's better villains. Spider-Man has one of the best rogues gallery, but not all of them are winners.

Let's examine some of the lamer ones, shall we?

Hammerhead



Admittedly, this character isn't too bad. He just seems like he would be a better fit in a Dick Tracy comic strip than a Spider-Man comic book.

Hammerhead is a crime boss whose skull was mostly replaced by a steel alloy and is flat on the top. As a result, he goes around ramming things like brick walls with his head.

Seriously, anybody who goes around running into walls with their head... should have their head examined (see what I did there).



Gibbon



Martin Blank looks like an ape. While not very popular with the ladies, he does well in the circus as an acrobat. Being a fan of Spider-Man, Martin starts wearing a furry suit, and asks Spidey if he can be his partner.

Spider-Man laughs his butt off.

You know you're a lame villain when your nemesis laughs at you.



Kangaroo



This guy was like the Jane Goodall of kangaroos. He hung around those bouncy marsupials so much that pretty soon he could jump like they could.

That was it. No powers. He could just hop around, punching things.

He was so inane that he gets disintegrated by radiation in his first appearance. But don't worry, he comes back eventually. Sadly, they always come back.



Grizzly



The Grizzly was a former professional wrestler with a grudge against good ol' J. Jonah Jameson. Along with some exoskeleton harness, he puts on a grizzly bear suit in attempt to get revenge.

Do guys like this ever think about how hot it is in New York during the summer, and maybe wearing a big furry suit isn't the most comfortable option?



Big Wheel



Jackson Wheele was a businessman who embezzled a bunch of money so he could buy this large mechanical wheel. That's it, pretty much. Just a large wheel.

Turns out, Big Wheel isn't such a bad guy after all. After getting defeated by Spider-Man, the guy joins Vil-Anon (the super-villain equivalent to Alcoholics Anonymous) and even attempts to help out Spidey as part of his twelve-step program.



That's it for this list. But trust me, there are plenty more lamebrained super villains out there. There's The Spot, Typeface, the Hypno-Hustler and lots more. Being a super villain isn't all glamor, baby.

JR
(wants to put on a furry suit now)

As you probably heard last week, Henry Cavill is out as Superman in the DCEU…

Or IS he?

There are some reports stating the whole social media uproar about Cavill’s fate as the Man of Steel is being exaggerated (some say, it’s being outright faked).

It is true the actor has expressed he is being underpaid for the role (some have countered that's because Cavill underperformed), but there’s no discussion about it right now… simply because there is no active Superman project.  Other than the proposed “Shazam” cameo Warner Bros wanted Cavill for (which the actor turned down), there is no Superman movie in the works.
 
Of course, there’s still a lot of speculation for the re-casting of Superman. Big name serious actors from Michael B. Jordan to Nicholas Cage have been dropped. But maybe Warner Bros should go in another direction…

Maybe the next Superman movie should be a musical.

JR
(was cast as Bizarro Superman)

O' Captain, my captain...

This past week, we got a peek at the production photos for next year's Captain Marvel movie, starring Brie Larson. Fans are getting excited for this film, and they haven't even seen a trailer yet. Captain Marvel has been hinted as the new face of the MCU, and people are enthusiastic...

even though most of them don't know who she is.

So... who the heck is Captain Marvel?

Talk about a loaded question...

Pre-Captain Marvel



Without going into the whole DC vs Fawcett Comics lawsuit about their Captain Marvel (that's Shazam! to you and me now), Marvel Comics acquired the trademark for the name Captain Marvel. In 1967, Stan Lee and Gene Colan created an alien Kree soldier named Captain Mar-vell... or Captain Marvel.

Carol Danvers



Carol Danvers was a security chief of a top secret military base and a supporting character in the Captain Marvel series. In one pivotal story, Danvers got caught in an explosion with Mar-vell, and her genetic structure melded with his.

Sounded like a fun date. And Danvers got super powers, so WIN!

Ms. Marvel



In 1977, Danvers got her own comic, and called herself Ms. Marvel. The creators wanted the character "to be a superhero that could empower women." The title didn't last very long, but Ms. Marvel eventually joined the Avengers.

However, in an unfortunate story, Ms. Marvel was kidnapped, raped and impregnated by a villain in an alternate dimension. Yeah, "empowering..." not so much.

Ms. Marvel ultimately returned to Earth, but was attacked by the mutant Rogue (when was still a member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants). Danvers lost both her powers and memories.

Binary



Professor Xavier of the X-Men helped to restore Danvers' memories. Afterwards, Carol continued to hang around with the X-Men. During a crazy space adventure, Carol Danvers was experimented upon by the alien Brood but it resulted in her getting the powers of a white hole and calling herself Binary.

Still with us? You needed a scorecard to keep track of those nutty Chris Claremont stories back then.

Warbird

At some point, Danvers lost most of her cosmic powers, rejoined the Avengers and called herself Warbird. Why? Because she has a thing for planes.

Captain Marvel(s)



While this was going on, the original Captain Marvel died from cancer and, unlike a lot of comic book characters, he stayed dead. If Marvel Comics wanted to retain the trademark for the name, they had to find a new Captain Marvel.

In the 1980's, a woman named Monica Rambeau started calling herself Captain Marvel (even though she had different powers). She became a member of the Avengers, and went on to lead the team at one point. She eventually changed her name to Photon... and then to Pulsar... and then to Spectrum.

Afterwards, an assortment of aliens assumed the alias of Captain Marvel (yes, I want to be Stan Lee).

Finally, Carol Danvers decided "I'm Captain Marvel, dammit!" Exact words, more or less.

Nobody said reading comics was going to be easy.

JR
(also known as Jay-Arr)